Shadow and Seth Story

•  Wally The Hero: For those that don't know shadow he is 7 years old he did this drawing please say something nice it will make Shadow feel real good about himself. He worked real hard on this.

  

  By Shadow and Seth- Rebel Diamonds system
  Illustrated By Shadow
  

  Once there was a boy Wally whose parents are like big science geeks so they travel all over the world but his the parents get killed by a field of giant bees which left the boy alone in the wild. In the wild he had to learn to live because this place was not like any other wild it had huge animals, bees where the size of elephants and lions.Wally got attacked  by a bat which gave him the  ability to have night eyes and he can fly.Wally  gets stuck in major web, a spider comes along and bites him. 

  Because of the bites wally ends up having special powers. When Wally get better from the bites he meets up with a ninja, the ninja lived there for years because he needed a safe place to hide from the world. So  as Wally gets older he try to find ay to get out of the wilder, He comes up with a plan on how to get out of the wilder being his parents where so smart and had scientist  minds wally was also very smart and had super smartness due to the insect bite. He knows he cam fly out but that would be to noticeable. Wally finds away out of the wild by building a boat, a boat with skeletal bones of the animals  but he can make the boat transform into a robot gorilla so it had great powers but can be small and not noticeable.  Wally get out of the wilder by the Skeletal boat and begins to travel all over the world. but because of his powers and his form many people did not treat wally very nice. they  begin to hurt him and be unkind so Wally begins to get really mad and his fury awakens his robot. the robot has these powerful guns on it and he begins to fire at people. Wally sees the city is destroyed.His softer side comes out and he  realizes hes no better then the people that treated him so bad.wally  fly's the robot around he sees young children and women hurt because of the blast. He notice many people needing help

  Wally  had a hard job cleaning up the city and helping those in need
  

  but wally being the smart person he was began to make all kinds i neat things to help the city and the people
  

  people saw him rebuilding the city to a better place with his robot he also began to make other things to help save people from bad people he had powerful flying swords to help when evil people try harm some one, some still yells monster but the other people quietened them down, saying look cant u see what he is doing as their eyes were opened they started lining the streets and applauding him n his robot, his robot was great but he needed something a little smaller when in town so he builds a car with wings and has web inside to help capture bad people the car can fly he still need his robot and begins to build so the robot can communicate with him and help take down the bad guys he decides he needs to stay and help people all the time. Wally became very rich  the government gave him millions and millions of dollars, this helped him find a safe home, he had great friends in fact he begins to have friends that help him they all become hero's and have powers. He had friends like ice man his armor is  built out of ice but so strong it could never break, fireman can never burn, tree climber is able to get into small place and climb every where he was very strong, weather man,can change the weather as needed. after a time the bad people started vanishing, and the city became a safe place it became a paradise. The end By Shadow and Seth

Jay'sBlog

Shit this place is so fucking crazy don't know what to say, but finding out the hard way.Life is traveling sea searching, seeking what can not be seen.

In a world of  gloom darkness is every where.          

Fucking Place
 nothing i cant say
traveling is my game
seeking the way out
 is what i must do
the popos all over,
but there nothing they can do
fuck this place
the crack heads scream for more
the pot head laughing as if its the cure
fuck this place
living in a ally way
darkness above
no lights on the street
fuck this place
hearing the crys
of the victims
shouting let me go
fuck this place
who needs it anyways

 Until The End Of Time"
(feat. RL (Next))

[2Pac]
Perhaps I was addicted to the dark side
Somewhere inside my childhood I missed my heart die
And even though we both came from the same places
The money and the fame made us all change places
How could it be through the misery that came to pass
The hard times make a true friend afraid to ask, for currency
But you could run to me when you need me, I'll never leave
I just needed someone to believe in, as you can see
It's a small thing through and true
What could I do? Real homies help ya get through,
And coming new, he'd do the same thing if he could
Cause in the hood true homies make you feel good
And half the time we be acting up call the cops
Bringing the cease to the peace that was on my block
It never stop, when my mama ask me will I change
I tell her yeah, but it's clear I'll always be the same
Until the end of time

[Chorus: RL]
So take, these broken wings
I need your hands to come and heal me once again
(Until the end of time)
So I can fly away, until the end of time
Until the end of time
Until the end of time

[2Pac]
Please Lord forgive me for my life of sin
My hard stare seem to scare all my sister's kids
So you know I don't hang around the house much
This all night money making got me outta touch, shit
Ain't flashed a smile in a long while
An unexpected birth worst of the ghetto child
My attitude got me walking solo
Ride out alone in my low-low
Watching the whole world move in slow-mo
For quiet times disappear listen to the ocean
Smoking Ports think my thoughts
Then it's back to coasting
Who can I trust in this cold world
My phony homey had a baby by my own girl
But I ain't trippin I'm a player I ain't sweating him
I sexed his sister, had her mo' good like a Mexican
His next of kin, No remorse it was meant to happen
Besides rapping the only thing I did good was scrapping
Until the end of time

[Chorus x2]

[2Pac]
Now who's to say if I was right or wrong?
To live my life as an outlaw all along
Remain strong in this planet full of player haters
They conversate but Death Row full of demonstrators
And in the end drinking Hennessey made all my enemies envy me
So cold when I flow eliminating easily
Fall to their knees, they plead for their right to breath
While beggin me to keep the peace (ha ha)
Well I can see close into achieve
In times of danger don't freeze time to be a g
Follow my lead I supply everything you need
An ounce of game and the training to make a g
Remember me, as an outcast outlaw
Another album out that's what I'm about, more
Gettin raw till the day I see my casket
Buried as a g while the whole world remembers me
Until the end of time

[Chorus]

If an angel comes down
And takes me away
The memories of me
And my songs
Will always stay
Till they can find
(Until The End of Time)
Until the end of time
Till the end of time

              ME AGAINST THE WORLD!!!!

 

ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME

 

 I know more then you think

Addications- My Food Issues

Addictions are defined as the habitual compulsion to engage in a certain activity or utilize a substance, notwithstanding the devastating consequences on the individual's physical, social, spiritual, mental, and financial well-being. Instead of addressing life's obstacles, tackling daily stress and/or confronting past or present trauma, the addict responds maladaptively by resorting to a pseudo coping mechanism. Addiction offers an illusory refuge and leads individuals down a self-destructive path that takes a heavy toll on the addict as well as on his or her family, community, and employer. Addiction alters the emotions of the user, who turns to the substance in search of a psychological high or a fast chemical fix. The addict uses the substance or engages in the activity to achieve stress relief, attain a sense of control, change his or her mood, and/or banish real-life issues.

Lets look at forms of Addictions

• Food addiction
• Gambling addiction
• Pornography addiction
• Work addiction
• Sex addiction
• Alcoholism
• Love addiction
• Exercise addiction
• Video game addiction
• Shopping addiction
• Drug addictions
• Hurting the Body (cutting)  Common for those with DID

My Struggles

I have food addictions. I eat because for me food is my enjoyment and I realize not always healthy.
The thing about my addiction is food is a need no matter what you do its all around you. You go to church theres a function, food is involved, you go to a friends house food is in involved. You pass a restaurant at ever street light. you pump gas theres food at the gas station. I guess you get my point.

I do have at times the desire to cut,but I have found other methods to help me with this. I paint drawing of cutting, I use a marker on my arm, I also break glass in a big garbage can ( I think I like the sound it makes when crashing it in the can. I do not do this alone) Why paint drawing of cutting? For me its the desire to see the pain that I can not feel. Some time I feel nothing and other times I feel everything. My emotions are confusing because I never learned how to use my emotions. I was thought at a very young age that if your not happy then I was doing something wrong. So now I am learning about anger, hurt, shame, and other forms of emotions.


11/19/2012
I decided I will start blogging about my food issues. being this a post is about abdication,  I thought I would pick up on it in this blog each week I'll post with dates.
 I binge. Il eat one full meal but eat until I am so much pain that I cant even walk. If I eat 3 meals il still binge. I am out of control with this issue, with in 1 year I went from 160 to now 230. Part is my depression the other part is to give in to the desires of my little who never had candy, cakes, or goodys. I binge when I am happy, sad, or when I dont even know what is that I am feeling. I read that survivors of sexual or physical abuse tend to have eating disorders. How can we over come this? I dont know. At times I dont care to. At times I just want to eat a whole dam cake or order a pizza pie and eat. I am not ready to start a group or share my eating habits with friends. Al I know is food is all around us, one thing about those addictions

with alcohol and drugs when you walk away its in ur mind u dont pass every corner and see signs for drugs, u dont go to every light and theres a liqueur store. one day I was driving around I started to count how many place I would see food displays or fastfood, or stores. I counted 60 in 1 mile yes people 1 mile. liqueur stores there are 5 in my home town. Its crazy. You go to a friends house, they always offer food, you go to a event theres food, you go to church theres food. So how can I stop? how I can want to? I dont know, all I know is that if I dont find away. I will have a heart attack. I will pass from this world. The sad thing is that does not even bother me..... I love food but it is my enemy.... 

 Some time I think- Il just stop eating and then I binge. Il start thinking Il go on a diet: it never happens......

I started a new diet
yea you know the one
the sea food diet
I see food and eat.
I look like a pig

that you would see
on you're fridge.
With googly eyes falling down
I started a new diet
I thought Id better try it
I own some sexy jeans
so tight I had to squeeze
I guess that pizza pie I ate
last night sure won the fight
But the label said size 8
so I thought id give it a try.
I started a new diet
you know the kind
I sure do eat
but I am not so neat
my food goes every where
Can you help me please
I started a new diet.

By Leen

11/25/2012

This weekend was not so great with food  because of thanksgiving and my Birthday. I have been told by the system I am no longer in control of my food and if I do not lose the fat then I will start losing time. I have been drinking more water and tonight we will be going food shopping to start the healthy meals tomorrow. I so hate this and wish I could just stop eating.......

11/26/12

Breakfast- 1 banana 1 slice of grain bread 1 cheese stick 1 bottle of water.  And Now I want chocolate :( 

Bible Scriptures, Stories, &Music,

Bible-Scriptures, Stories, & Music,

Of DID and Hope

 Zephaniah 3:17 (New International Version)
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,   

Jeremiah 29:11-12 (New International Version)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

 Job 13:15
Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him;
I will surely defend my ways to his face

 The Women called Sybil

Shirley A. Mason's life story, told under the pseudonym Sybil, garnered international interest and scrutiny in the 1973 national best seller book, "Sybil", written by Flora Schreiber in collaboration with Dr. Cornelia Wilbur.  A movie by the same title was released in 1976, staring Sally Field as Sybil and Joanne Woodward as Dr. Wilbur.  The movie earned Sally Field an Emmy Award for outstanding achievement as an actress.The story of Shirley Mason is one of a woman who triumphed over incredible odds.  Abused by her mother throughout her young life, Shirley's mind protected the innocent child by splitting into various dissociative states or “personalities” to absorb the experience and shield her from the disturbing memories.  In all, sixteen personalities were identified over the course of Shirley’s eleven year sojourn through psychotherapy with Dr. Wilbur.

Mason Known as Sybi

Through the efforts of Dr. Wilbur, coupled with the self determination of this emotionally damaged young woman, all the selves integrated into one, allowing Shirley almost total recall of her life and feelings.  And although individual courage and an irresolute determination to get better were the foundation of her recovery, Shirley discovered along the way that creative expression provided an important healing dimension in her struggle to get well.

Shirley Ardell Mason was born January 25, 1923 in Dodge Center, Minnesota, and died February 26, 1998, in Lexington, Kentucky.  Shirley graduated from Dodge Center High School in 1941, and attended Mankato State Teachers College (now known as Minnesota State University, Mankato) in the 1940's, receiving a Bachelor of Science degree in English and Art in 1949.

began undergoing psychotherapy in 1954 with Dr. Cornelia Wilbur who diagnosed her with Multiple Personality Disorder.  It was not until two years into her psychotherapy that Dr. Wilbur made Shirley aware of the autonomy and control the sixteen alternate selves had over her.
Shirley received a Master’s degree in Art Education from Columbia University's Teachers College in 1956 and later taught art at Rio Grande College in Ohio, before moving to Lexington, Kentucky in 1974.
Shirley, became a highly regarded and commercially successful artist, signing only those works that she recognized as her own.  Other earlier works of art, presumably created by one or more of the alternative selves, were many times not signed or signed by others, providing the only tangible evidence of Shirley’s dissociative states, in which she created art but did not acknowledge the works as her own.

 A cache of 103 paintings were found locked in a closet in the basement of Shirley Mason’s Lexington home, hidden for nearly a quarter century, until they were located shortly after her death in 1998.
These paintings, many of which were unsigned, span the years of 1943, eleven years before starting psychotherapy with Dr. Wilbur, to 1965, the year of her successful integration, and include the only examples of artwork presumably created by the alternate selves. 

Shirley did not put her name on any piece of art that she didn’t recognize as her own.   It was a disturbing occurrence for her to enter her studio and find work on the easel of which she had no conscious memory.  This must have been an already frequent happening while she was a student at Mankato in the early 1940’s where she wrote numerous articles for the student paper concerning the use of pseudonyms and pen names.  In one article Shirley stated it was the "what" not the "who" that was important, and no artist should put their name on any work or creation that was not their own.  Other students may have thought this a curious topic to be so passionate about, but they didn’t know then what we know now about Ms. Mason’s surrealistic reality.  And in a final twist of irony, Shirley Mason, known to the world as Sybil... a pseudonym, is demonstrating that while these pieces are interesting, it's the "who", not the "what" that makes them important.

 The selected prints included here reveal the layers of mystery that was Shirley Mason, as specific themes and images repeat themselves across the different personalities and styles – some unexplainable.  For example, the appearance of utility poles within the different works – most easily seen in the several paintings of boats where many of the sailing masts look very much like utility poles. 

Trauma and Integration in Shirley Mason's Art
"...The sensory experience of Mason's art may mirror the relative presence and absence manifest from the inner/outer shifting moments of selfhood, as different aspects of her subjectivity inhabit conscious control.  Rather than visualize difference embedded in the visual forms and styles, as has often been noted, I ask the viewer to susend such pronouncements.  Instead, reflect upon the freshness of the experience of Mason's art; it is palpable when one confronts, through immersion, the vastness of this project.  For this author the cohesiveness and integrative capacity, the traumatic experiences embedded in the art evoke certainly the stifling effects of splintering, but also much more, the congruent balance between difference, the potential self-acceptance, the healing action of and the promise of self reparation.
Another feeling from the work is a sense of urgency, of profound significance, struggling to be heard, seen and witnessed.  There is a hallucinatory feeling after travelling through her work, again signalling the complex contradictions - the scream of silence and stillness.  I increasingly found myself asking, where is Shirley Mason?
Mason's art is a living testament to resilience, determination and artistic legacy, in the face of unspeakable trauma.  Vigilance pervades the work, searching for understanding, and the elusive comfort, amidst the sadness and poignancy of pain transcribed in every mark, in the affective traces of a hard-fought self-presence.  The disquiet posits on of the enduring threads that permeate Mason's art, giving the viewer access to a reception of the empathic sensory experience of her life..."
- Geoffrey Thompson, American Art Therapy

 A mesmerizing journey inside the mind and life of a victim of dissociative identity disorder (DID). Christine Ducommun eloquently shares her story of her descent into madness, struggling to regain her sanity as four personalities compete for control of her mind and protect her from the demons of her childhood. A story of courage, healing, identity, hope, and love.

ABOUT THE BOOK Christine Ducommun was a happily married wife and mother of two, when-after returning to live in the house of her childhood-she began to experience panic attacks, night terrors, a series of bizarre flashbacks, and 'noises in her head.' Eventually diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID), Christine's story details an extraordinary twelve year ordeal of coming to grips with the reemergence of competing personalities her mind had created to help her cling to life during her early years.
Therapy helps to reveal the personalities, but Christine has much work to do to grasp their individual strengths and weaknesses and understand how each helped her cope and survive her childhood as well as the latent influences they've had in her adult life. Fully reawakened and present, the personalities struggle for control of Christine's mind and her life tailspins into unimaginable chaos, leaving her to believe she may very well be losing the battle for her sanity.
Christine's only hope to regain her sanity was to integrate each one's emotional maturity while jettisoning the rest, until at last their chatter in her head could cease. A riveting story of one woman's decent into madness and how she was able to become whole again-finally, the director of her own life.
Integration is the real victory. There have been other books done on the topic of multiple personalities, but what makes this one special is that few therapists focus on integration as the best way to treat the patient (because of the rigor, time and training involved). Ms. Ducommun's therapist focused on integration of her four alters and achieved it.

We Are Annora: A True Story of Surviving Multiple Personality Disorder 

We Are AnnoraA True Story of Surviving Multiple Personality Disorder

Marital and parental responsibilities can be enough of a challenge for two
working adults. Add in one spouse who has intensifying bouts of amnesia and
you have a recipe for disaster. But disaster was not an option for Annora. She
grew up in an orphanage and so the preservation of her precious family was
her number one commitment. But that commitment was threatened when,
during marital counseling, Annora's therapist began to recognize even more
unusual and abnormal behaviors in her.

Annora was diagnosed  with Dissociative Identity Disorder, also
known as Multiple Personality Disorder. But that wouldn’t stop Annora from 

declaring her sanity to her husband and begging him to find them a new
therapist.Annora reveals the complex issues of her experience in this easy-to-read story
that begins with a car accident and then travels through a world of horrifying
challenges laced with enough hope and vision to pull her through. It seems that
survival is in Annora’s genes and she is anything but a coward, though she
accuses herself of just that. “Maybe having alters is just a coward’s way of
putting my memories and emotions some place outside of me so that I don’t
have to feel their pain.”

 

Music Of Hope

 



Depression

Depression what is looks like to me

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behavior, feelings and physical well-being.^[1] Depressed people may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, worried, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, or restless. They may lose interest in activities that once were pleasurable; experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions; and may contemplate or attempt suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, loss of energy, or aches, pains or digestive problems that are resistant to treatment may be present.^[2] Depressed mood is not necessarily a psychiatric disorder. It is a normal reaction to certain life events, a symptom of some medical conditions, and a side effect of some medical treatments. Depressed mood is also a primary or associated feature of certain psychiatric syndromes such as clinical depression.

Will I ever break these chains of despair, will I ever be carefree once again? I feel so lost, I feel so alone. How sad when I have so many who care. But I just think they be better off with out me. Will I ever break these chains of despair? Will life having meaning for hopeless is what I feel.

It is a cycle that never ends. I just want to hurt,I just wan to scream, I just want this to end. I know death could be so sweet for evil and ugliness is me.  I hide behind a dark curtain so no one would see the disappointment and the truth of what I am. Evil inside, Evil you can not hide, Evil is I. Why don't you see the truth of the ugly stupid, no good, discussting person that I am . Alone is best for me for no one can love such a person as me.  By Hopeless     



Do you see what I look like? Do you see the evil inside. Let me just cut, scream and fight but I will never cry. By Hopeless

I'm not to speak of Evil, I'm not to say the truth, but the truth is what is evil, the truth is what is never told. I seek understanding in this world of cold, a world that is nothing. A world that makes me want to be lost in the Abyss where I should be, where Evil lives within. I'm not to speak of Evil, but how can I not when Evil is what I am, Evil is what I live. Evil is with in. I cant seem to cry, I cant seem to feel the pain inside. Cutting would be nice, cutting would make me feel what I cannot feel inside. Cutting how I long must I wait. A contract was made the Evil must write, the Evil can't hide, the Evil can't hurt the body or the inside where we can just die. When can I just die? When can this end? When can I feel the pain again? I can't speak of the Evil with in. Hopeless is I

Empty is I, lost is darkness

know one will ever find me

I want you to feel my pain

I want to see your guts

spilling out

as u scream from the agnoy

as I watch u suffer like you deserve

to see u cry out

and know no one will help u

to see u in your misery. crying help me

but nobody comes.

I'm trapped
I can't find my way out
I'm trapped
so dark inside
there is a small light
in the crack of the door
I'm looking
down there is not much to see
a floor and man on top
I do not scream
I do not cry
just lying on that floor
I"m trapped.

 

I want to be alone
for no one will even know
no one will cry
no one will not shed a tear
alone am I
but Alone I  want to be
Traped in the dark
wanting to feel
feel the pain
as the blood drips
 down from my veins
Screaming
"WHY CANT I FEEL"
Screaming
"LET ME DIE"

           Alone in the dark, sitting, lying in my nightmare

Depressed is not the word Id say, for I'm not a cure that can be fixed. Let me just die I say alone is what I crave.

He took her innocents,
spilt her int peaces
She closes her eyes
Immagineing everything
Everything will be ok
But her inside Screams

Im not ok cant you see
Closing her eyes
wishing to just go away
To be lost and not found
Immagineing a place
of peace a place
where no one can hurt her.
The tears of blood is all
I can see. This is my rage
This is my heat
I am nothing
Cant you See

Imagining a place to be free
Oh please cant you see he is killing me
I scream but no one can here me
I scream in my agony
To be lost would be so sweet
I cant seem to do anything
I am trapped in  a world
That means nothing to me
Screaming cant you help me!



Rage is me
Rage is all I need
Rage you can't fight me

Rage you ruined me
Rage i'll be
You can't break me
Rage Il hurt
Rage Il bleed
Rage Il make you cry

To be consumed by money
To be lost in the world with nothing
where money is a must
where money leaves you
traped with out friends
you will see money means
every thing
where money distroys
and leaves you homeless
you will see no true friend
fake people within is what you see
to be consumed by money
with yelling words
and if you don't
you will be sorry
its all about
yourself
no other
you can try and do your best
you can try and make it right
but money consumes your life
no matter what
in this world
its all about greed
its all about our own needs
if you think you have friend
then dont bring money in
for once you do
you will see
money is every thing.
By Those Inside

Greed, all about me, and darkness
is this place of life
which means nothing to me
you will see
no true friend will there every be
once they see the darkness in me
once they see I have nothing but
blackness they will run from me
many will say I'm your friend
just wait and see
but in the end there is
only me
which if you look deep you will see
there is nothing for me
in this place of greed, all abouts me
and darkness all around
so tired of a place
where there is nothing for me.
By those Inside

 

This place

This place is not for me

Just cant seem to wait until death

takes me

oh the hope

of this agony

which consumes me

This place is not for me

to have the strength to kill me

oh what joy that will be bring

to die is what I seek

but to weak to kill me

to have the strength

oh what joy that will bring me

This world full of hate

and money make

to live in this place

is death anyways

so why not die

oh to just fucking die.......

those inside

 

 

 

 

 

killing myself,
taking matters to my own hands,
I dont wanna grow up
I hate change and
everything's just so rearranged

My life is nothing but a disaster
and time keeps going by faster
but in a second all that stuff
not going to matter
 imma gonna kill myself

I wanna die,ant that the truth
suicide keeps going through
my mind on a regular basis
Going crazy cause if you
Looking at me you will see
I sick in my eyes
cause im sck in my mind
been wishing to die
as long as I could remember
I dont complain just to whine
I dont cry just give
you a guilt trip
thats not my style
I just gonna kill myself
Cause I could careless
what you think
Its not about you
not trying
to get you to feel
bad for me
I rather dis every one
and make you mad at me
Yea its not about you
I'm gonna kill myself

people just dont understand
how much i hate this world
and all you people in it
this world of all about me
and what can you do for me
i'm gonna kill myself

I quit
 I'm bailing
I'm done
I finally give up
I'm sick of failing
and tired to live up
to what others want
thats right
i'm gonna kill myself

Poetry And Art

 Drawn By Possessed

Painted By Leen        Dog Drawn By Possessed

 Painted by Jessica

 Painted by Jessica

 Painted by Jessica

 Drawing done by Possessed and I.A.N.

Drawn By Jessica and I.A.N.




















Bella Drawing done by Possessed And I.A.N. 1/8/13

 Done By I.A.N. 1/8/13

 

no words can be said all I know Is wish for death to be fast and dont make the pain last, as I scream inside I did nothing to feel your  doom. The fear is consuming as I stand tall, making sure there is no expression at all, The fear is consuming but i'l be strong. Don't you see I did nothing at all. 

 

 

 

 

I sit and I watch a child, watch a smile upon his faces, looking into his eyes and the delight he finds in the simple things like a toy truck to play with. To belong in such a world like his would be my pleasure if only if. I belong to nothing this is true, my heart can not feel, but I am blue. Belong what does that mean? Belong a in world of such cruelty. Cruelty this cant be true some things are good this is true. Belong is all I just want to do....

 

 

We cry inside, wanting to die, asking Jesus why? Lost in a world with the darkness is so real, feeling tired but cant sleep, close my eyes, pray to my God why oh why can't I just die. I am the light you seek, I am the truth you Know. I am the love that will grow. As you walk in the shadow of death, knowing pain must come, but I am holding you close. I hear you words, I Know your pain. My Child, My Child hold strong Il carry you all night long.

 Love

Love a word used by many
Love is not completion to one's path
Love is not a feeling one wishes
they have
Love is not sex for you can get
that anywhere
Love is not going to make you whole
inside
Love is a disguise that many do not see
Love is an action that many fail to show
Love is not butterfly's
Love takes time
Love a word that many say
Love a word that many do not
truly understand
Love one will say
but Hate is word
that you should not say
but love is used in so many
wrong ways
Love don't say it unless
its true
Love no one really knows
what to do
Love
ohhh Love.....

 

 

 The Angel

To seek understand and peace in a world so incomplete. I traveling to and fro, seeking, wondering where I will ever go? To seek understanding in a world so cold traveling south, north, west and east all over the land and noting to see. In a world so cold it makes me want to scream. I close my eyes, I drop to my knees seeking for truth in world of darkness, that evil can consume me. sitting there on my knees, cars passing me, as the lights glow in the darkness of my despair. A women kneels beside, putting her arms around me. Looking up into a face a face of an angel the wonder of beauty oh was my delight. My tears began to fall as she sat not saying nothing at all. Rapping her arms around me, as to say I understand, I travel to and for in a dark land seeking what I do not understand. Closing my eye, feeling comfort, knowing someone see's my pain. An angel was she who did not speak. Opening my eyes the beauty was gone and its place was darkness in a cold, cold wet land. I picked myself up, wiped the dirt off and continued on my way. To seek understanding and peace in a world so incomplete knowing some day id see that angel of beauty who comfort me. By Those Inside The Raymond System

  Death

In this dark world of destruction, corruption, and dysfunction, to hold ones hand in the dark knowing the coldness and sorrow. My heart cries to have death would be my praise. To rejoice and end this madness the people create. Death brings victory and the sting in this world of darkness and emptiness. Many cry out for in the night let this madness end. This corruption will it every end? The baby crying for some food, the people screaming in there despair, the boy who holds a gun in the air, the man who harms the child who say's please daddy don't, the women who meets that man on the streets, the girl who has to find her next fix. Oh the destruction, corruption, and dysfunction of this world , let death be my victory

Annoyed am I
wasting my time
wondering if he call
wondering if it was my fault
Annoyed am I

As i sit on a park bench
watching the traffic go by
wondering why
what a joke
a place of simplicity
man I was fooled
its nothing but destruction
corruption in this dooming place
Annoyed I let you into my safe place
Frustrated to believe your lies
yea you tell me lies
Annoyed
I pick my self up
grab my coat
walk on walk tall
no more lies from
that joke
Annoyed

To live a life
with meaning
and truth
To live a Life
that is full
work to live
live to work
no family
to call mine
no love
of a child
to hold
to be something
is what we must do
To live life
Is incomplete
when there's
nothing but
bills
why be here?
Why stay?
To live for hope
To hope to live
but if you have nether
what do you do?

  In a empty hole is where I lye
trying to hide from the darkness inside
closing my eyes trying to fight
 in a world so cruel.
I worked so hard
I worked to be no fool
now I lost all that I had
In empty hole is where I lye
hiding deep inside
for all I have done
for all that did and do
it does not matter now
for the world as won
and I'm stuck inside
No pain to feel
No tears to cry
nothing is inside
all that once was
is no long true
In empty hole is where I lye
nothing is here
all is gone
i'm stuck
in a cruel cruel
world
for all that was
 and all that I did
no thank you
no praise
just empty
with no way out

Our Art : Raymond System

Art By Shirley A. Mason's known as Sybil

By Raymond System
Into his Arms
oh to go to my father
with loving arms
to see the sky of blue
and his radent smile
as he looks upon me
with the love of the father
for a child
into his arms
I will run
knowing the safety is with in
hearing his voice smooth and rich
like the sound of the ocean and wind
on a summers day
ino his arms
il go
knowing my father

is the best place

looking down on to the earth

il see many wanting to be

in my fathers arms

but righ now his arms

belong to me.

into my fathers arms

is where I long to be.

This room
so peaceful
with soft sounds
and blue all around
hearing the sound
of the fan whispering around
the sound of noise
of two small creatures
fumbling around.
The peace is so real
so true
I close my eyes
to feel safe
in this room
the light shines
not so bright
so it dont hurt the eyes
this room
like magic on a wall
a place you can fall
and not hurt at all.
This room.
Raymond System

 Poetry by Robert W Service
The Quitter

When you're lost in the Wild, and you're scared as a child,
 And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you're sore as a boil, it's according to
 Hoyle To cock your revolver and . . . die.
But the Code of a Man says:
 "Fight all you can," And self-dissolution is barred.
 In hunger and woe, oh, it's easy to blow . . .
It's the hell-served-for-breakfast that's hard.
 "You're sick of the game!" Well, now, that's a shame.
You're young and you're brave and you're bright.                                          
 "You've had a raw deal!" I know -- but don't squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It's the plugging away that will win you the day,
So don't be a piker, old pard! Just draw on your grit;
it's so easy to quit: It's the keeping-your-chin-up that's hard.
 It's easy to cry that you're beaten -- and die;
 It's easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope's out of sight --
 Why, that's the best game of them all!
And though you come out of each grueling bout,
All broken and beaten and scarred, Just have one more try --
it's dead easy to die, It's the keeping-on-living that's hard.

Hope by Emily Bronte

Hope was but a timid friend;
She sat without the grated den,
Watching how my fate would tend,
Even as selfish-hearted men.

She was cruel in her fear;
Through the bars, one dreary day,
I looked out to see her there,
And she turned her face away!

Like a false guard, false watch keeping,
Still, in strife, she whispered peace;
She would sing while I was weeping;
If I listened, she would cease.

False she was, and unrelenting;
When my last joys strewed the ground,
Even Sorrow saw, repenting,
Those sad relics scattered round;

Hope, whose whisper would have given
Balm to all my frenzied pain,
Stretched her wings, and soared to heaven,
Went, and ne'er returned again!

Looking Up!

By Elizabeth McCrorie

I know you see me
I know your there,
But in my heart it’s not fair.
If I look up I see the sky,
And I know up there
It’s hard to hide.
The sky is soft blue,
With white milky clouds,
How can you be in a place
Not found?
In the end,
I fall to my knees
Close my eyes and think of thee.
If you are who you say to be,
Then please oh please take care of me.
Cause I believe!

Whisper soft is what I do. You can't hear me 

But listen carefully you will see 

I Whisper to keep the secret you should not know.

She should not tell our story so. I Whisper do not hear.

Telling our secret is not good. Keep Silent I say, Keep away.

The system is confused. Some share what should not be. 

Recovery is what they see.Recovery is despair for me.

By Whisper

 

IF TODAY: If today was the last day of my life I would leave all worries aside I would be thankful to be alive I would be all right I would just smile If today was the last day of my life I would stop to smell the roses I would appreciate all that surrounds me I would be friendly, and I would laugh I would take the time to be closer If today was the last day of my life I would pass on peace I would be generous I would pass on love I would deeply breath If today was the last day of my life I would accept peacefully all that comes, including my death, for death is just a new beginning.

by Phatmo

Now I can fly

As life unfolds and the sun start to shine.
The cloud in my life clears up.
The tear on my eyes dries up.
And I wear a smile on my face.
My mind becomes stress free.
My life is filled with happiness.
Blessings start coming in troops.

The demons in my life are exorcised.
My enemies forget my existence.
Experience taught me wisdom.
Obstacles kept me focus.
Now the birds of the sky will start singing for me.
Only my dreams will prevail.
Nothing to worry about anymore.
Everything is now on the hands of the most high.
Granted me the full right to be a man.
Stand my ground on both feet.
The war is now over peace is forever.
The winds of circumstances ceased to blow.
My nights are free from nightmares.
Positive thoughts rule my brain.
Stigmatization wont harm no more.
What a second chance to prove one's worth.
If one listen to what life teaches them then they good.
Crucial will be my dreams and inferior will be those who shut them down.
Significant will be what I value.
So I took a moment to give thanks and praises to the most high.
For recognizing all the sufferings I been through.
And he gave me his right hand and elevated me. Made me one of his angels.
And now I can fly.

There's a girl in the mirror,
I don't know who she is.
Sometimes she looks familiar,
Other times I've never seen her face.
Her features are so vacant,
Her eyes are full of pain,
she always looks so lonely,
Like she's standing there in vain.

Today she started talking,
I took the time to stand and lend an ear,
She told me of her heartache,
And of all her fears.
She then went on to tell me,
Of the times she's been so hurt,
Of all the times she's needed help,
And lost her own self worth.

Her eyes, they never left mine,
Although it seemed like I wasn't there.
My heart swelled with longing,
Her stories made this world seem so unfair..

I told her she was beautiful,
That she was strong and smart.
And that now she's faced her biggest fears,
Her life will truly start.

Then she started crying,
And As she said her name.
it became reality,
That her and I are the same.

All this time I thought I'd lost myself,
This reflection made me see.
Although hurting, I'm still beautiful,
That lonely girl in the mirror is me.

Rebecca Davies

I found this on Gothic Poetry and it just hit home so I wanted to share this with others.

A world so sad, when WE don't listen.
Children's screams, Words we missing.
Why, o why, words they say.
Mommy,mommy,terrible man, walks this way.
Thoughts of darkness, not of swings.

Horrible thoughts, this man brings.
Help me daddy, I beg you so.
Make this man, make him go.
Hurt my innocence, took my heart.
He touched me daddy, tore apart.
Daddy sat down, his chair I see.
Not a sound, no words to me.
Heart now, pain and sorrow.
Horrible dreams, begging, no tomorrow.
Lay awake, little sleep.
Blood shot eyes, not a peep.
This pain I carry, even today.
The anger builds, broken this way.
Mommy, daddy, where were thee.
Screaming in torture, no help for me.
WHO

I cant sleep,
makes me want to weep
I dreamed all night
such sad things
into the dark

into the pain
lost in this world
to have simplicity
to sing of joy
is lost on me
I have no hope
I cry into the night
but no one is listening
I sing my song
hoping to find
something so sweet
but all I can do
is sit in the dark
as the dream brings fire
to my lungs
and a scream upon my lips
to sleep would be such bliss
if simplicity was my dreams.

NEW ART 2014 by Raymond System
 At the Cross                                                                                                                                                                                            

                                                                                On a Hill

 World Of Dreams

Here Comes The Sun