All Of Us

To those who would like to know Us:
All Of Us. My Individuals.starting From Top left: Is Little Cee My Core
Babie who is 1 1/2, Lisa she is 4 very playful, shadow 7 he is very educated amazes me how much he knows for his age, Becca 12 she holds lots of hurt and has hard time trusting,Iris Blue 5 she stuck in the past, MeMe she 61/2 she is my worrier, Shim and Max (all ages) took on sexual abuse they are Siamese twins, Rainbow, Whisper (not sure about them just yet) Sap he is 8, I Am Nothing (I.A.N.) Don't know much about her except she curses alot and does not seem to care about what others think.  MeMyselfand I she is an adivers to the system, Jay The seeker he is 16, Possessed she is 15, Jessica and Leen my Keepers, Alexander the great the warrior, Hopeless is depressed

In 2011 Cee our Host (you will not see a picture of her) came to realize she was DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) Took her several months to believe that this is what it was.

Cee~ For many who are questioning "Do I have DID"? I asked that for a long time. When I was about maybe 5 years old I remember hearing voices, but they always told me do not tell any one you hear us. I also always felt outside myself like a back seat driver looking at everything around me as if I was in a movie. I now know it was My alters or as I like to say my individuals, my protectors. I lived in a world of fantasy and imagination. For a very long time I had amnesia until I began having memories in 2006-07, I never thought I was abused or harmed by my family members. I thought, the things that happen in my home where normal. 

Now I know different, Now I know I was was a victim of physical, sexual, emotional and domestic abuse from the age of 1 1/2 to about 8 years old. At 8 life changed for a while, with a good man who showed tenderness, caring, and understanding to a child. It would last for about 5 years and once again life would change to physical and emotional abuse until I left home at the age of 18. And in all that time the voices never went away and I still never told a soul, not until I am 32 years old. When I find comfort and understanding from a group of women who where all victims of abuse. One women who is now my sponsor, shared her story and as she told hers I felt like she was telling mine. For the first time I felt emotions I never had. It was time for all those in side to begin sharing there Story and we are all on the road to Discovering Me.

My core: The child that was born, the regional me. I some times think she is a sleep, but not a deep sleep because every once in awhile, I think she comes out confused and not sure where she really is and so she goes back to sleep. What I do know about the Core is she somewhere in the Abyss (As many of my individuals have shared) The Abyss is a place away from the world, surrounded by flames of fire so no one can enter there. 



Babie: Babie was the first created, she is now 2 years old. Babie had a special birthday party and love ice cream cake. Babie was the first to be molested. She is so playful, loves bubbles and loves singing songs.  I have learned that Babie wakes up during night from bad dreams, of course I do not remember them or her waking up. What I do know is she wants to be held. She never really cry's and she is loved by everyone in the system.Babie has a special doll she sleeps with every night.

Lisa: Lisa is my playful child, she is 4 years old, loves baby dolls and singing her ABC a lot and her favorite color is pink.  Lisa has not shared her story and I am not sure if she ever will. She talks about a special pink dress she had but can not find.

 Jason Shadow: Shadow, which is what he prefers to be called. He is 7 years old. I know a little of Shadow's story, but he is unwilling to let me share it. I can tell you he is very brave, so educated. He loves writing stories, He knows a lot about Ham Radios, and Phonetics. Shadow picks up things very quickly and he is very compassionate, loves helping others.

Rebecca: Becca is 12 years old she tends to live in the past of the man that was kind to us between the age of 8-12 years old. If she comes out she normally asks if we know her daddy? Becca loves stories, she loves to make things out of wood. she made a bird house that she is very proud of. She has 2 gerbils that she loves and takes care of every day. The gray one is Fluffy and the yellow one is Alvin. Becca also loves cats and as a special blanket that she shares with the little's that they all call Kitty. No one sleeps at night with out kitty. Once I left Ketty away when I went on trip for the weekend. I never slept and all my little's where so upset. (so here is a tip if a little has something special to sleep with Don't ever for get it)

Iris is 5years old she stuck in the past, the summer of 1984. Iris now has come to know Jay in the system and has moved forward a few months. We think this is good and she is making progress. Iris loves Iris blue flowers. She is lonely, spends a lot of time at home alone, she feels unloved. Iris is very friendly and curious. 

Meme: Meme is 6 1/2 years old she very scared of the world. Every thing is bad and people are bad too. She can have a tamper and she is  also the one who cry's in the system. Meme Loves the color purple, pizza and wants to be a princess.




 Shim and Max my Siamese Twins. They took on my Rap, there age is endless sometimes I think. They are formed by trees, branches, dirt and covered with bugs so the picture above is not what they look like but it is the way they feel. They have taken on a lot of pain.

Rainbow- I really have not learn much about her, she is very much to herself and I'm not sure of her age, At times she seems like a small child and other times she seems so much older but emotionally very young. Rainbow has A special Pet Beast a big yellow orange dog (golden retriever I'm thinking) I know some of her history and have shared a little on blog but at this time I can not share all of it. Maybe someday.

Beast is the pet in the system he hates licking but will give you love nibbles, he closest to Rainbow. Beast story is in blog with Rainbows. Beast loves playing with balls.Beast we believe as integrated. after a story was shared. Beast became sick and then we did not hear from him. Many in the system say they still feel him around.









Whisper: Whisper's personality fits her name, she is very soft spoken when she does speak. She is a shifter so her age changes from a little  to an adult. She is a writer and loves to do all kinds of poetry from Gothic to all about Jesus.
Whisper as not shared much of her story. She tends to keeps to herself for the most part.

 Sap: Sap Was connect with Shim and Max but he split from them. I do not know Saps story. What I do know is Sap communicates with 80's music and tv commercial's, which is very interesting to me because I do not watch much TV at all. I think its hard for Sap to communicating any other way.

This is I.A.N. (I Am Nothing) she was just found a few weeks ago but I have not introduced her until now. I do not now much about her expect she makes me feel very uncomfortable, she curses a lot and has a lot of negativity.. not sure about age just yet. We have now learned that I.A.N. is part of Alexander the great- that Alexander is DID kinda wired when I heard that. and very hard to understand.

Me-Myself and- I she is 16 years old she loves dancing like a ballerina, she does not talk much and prefers not for others to know anything about her. she dose not feel like most others in the system and she is  very tolerate to pain.

Jay Waz up all. I'm 21 years olde. I waz made to live on the streets but I am the one who kept the peace in the neighborhood. I did have lots of friendz peepz knew that I waz kool. I could handle myself  if need be. My Mother waz a druggie so I had to help her when she waz needing a fix. I like WWF, Supper Mario Brothers Video games, and Harley Motorcycles.  I waz created when a man pulled a knife on me when I waz 5 years old. After being off the streetz I waz in the back for a long time. I came out totally confused and not sure where I waz. But I have gotten lotz of support, lotz of changez, but Im working through them.I have decided to growz and see watz life got for me. when first coming out and introducing myself i waz 13. I be thinking il be liking 21 ;)  Laterz.





Possessed here. I'm 15 years old. I have no plans of growing or sharing all my business with you peeps. I can rock any mans world and turn them on good. I'm hot but I know when I have to be a bitch. Love is  a word I do not understand or care to have. Possessed tries to be strong but she as a soft side. She is my cartoon artist and singer.

Jessica is Keeper 2 She is 30 years old so she has pretty much grown with me.she ran most of my life from 2000-2009 she is very organized. Jessica got me through school, ran my business and my marriage (now divorced). She takes care of all the little's in the system. She is very proper. Jessica spends most of her time now just taken care of the little's so I can start my healing and regain my memories. Jessica knows all of the system. Jessica is my artist and poet.

Leen Keeper 3 was created to help Jessica when Life began to change she could not handle the changes, but knew it was for the best for the system and myself. Leen has a lot of Jessica's personality, but she also has a lot of me in her, she feels my emotions and she dreams of a family as I do.



Alexander the Great The warrior and Keep1, he tends to keep Iris safe the most, He can be very aggressive if he feels danger, he is very old school and speaks his mind. We never want Alexander to become upset. He very much protector of all and many have to speak with him before a change in the system can be made.

Hopeless Rage: Very depressed will not speak, harms the body by  bruises, smacking and pulling hair. she also breaks things. Her world is dark and the world is evil to her.